ESTEEMED

         ESTEEMED
I have always thought only young folks have issues with building their self-esteems. We’ve always been told that building one’s esteem takes a level of self-worth and self-respect.
“You are now going to college, make sure you do not allow anyone to lower your self-esteem, stand up straight and build your goals, don’t allow anyone to define who you are.” This is one of the major comments we receive from older folks whenever we are going to college (higher institutions) for the first time, but having gone through the four walls of a higher institution, I realised that self-esteem is not all that it seems to be.
Building one’s self-esteem is a very important thing in any man’s life, as a matter of fact, if you don’t have one, you might regret being human because your life will practically be driven by those who either think the best of you or the worst of you, who either have the driver’s license that you don’t have or the driving skills that you are still struggling to possess.
Self-esteem simply means giving yourself a high regard, respecting yourself and believing in yourself. Everyone, no matter how old or young, has a self-esteem, we all have our unique qualities, all that needs to be done is for us to see those qualities, acknowledge them and live them. I wrote about Valeria Levitin in the first edition of “Dunamis magazine”, Valeria is a young lady suffering from an eating disorder called ‘anorexia’, a disorder that rejects the intake of food in the body. Valeria happens to be somebody with a low self-esteem, she was told that she was fat, she wanted to be a model and she was rejected because of her body shape, but she unfortunately didn’t see how beautiful she was, how gorgeous she looked despite the fatness, she wanted to fit in, she had a low self-esteem and gave room to people and allowed them to define who she is to her. Hence, she started dieting to the extent that her body starts to reject food intakes, she now weighs not more than 4 stones and finds it difficult to walk in the public.
I know a lot of people are out there and have given room to several people to paddle their canoes for them and drive their cars for them, you can’t take any decision on your own unless someone takes it for you, you are scared of moving forward because you don’t know if you can move alone or if you have what it takes to move. I want you to know that you have absolutely all it takes to take a step and start moving, your life is not dependent on what mr x says, it only depends on your self-worth and most importantly on what God says. You need to start believing that you can be the best at whatever you are doing, you need to start believing that nothing can take you down, one major thing you need to do is learn how to say ‘shut up’ to your fears and your challenges, close your eyes to them and start your journey anew like you don’t care about the fears and challenges, like they are not even there because as a matter of fact, they are not, it depends on what you believe in.
Mind you, in your getting, always get wisdom, while some folks are out there ready to point out your worst to you, some are also very much ready to tell you how worthy you are. I said earlier that self-esteem is not what it seems to be cos it has in one way or the other mixed with pride. You don’t wanna know what anyone thinks, you don’t wanna know how anyone thinks it to be, all you know is you are the best person who can do it right. Hey pal, yes you have the right to decide on your own, but at the same time, you have the right to have people who can move with you and keep you moving around you. People who will always point you to the right things and who you will likewise point to the right path, it really takes two to tangle, don’t go all the way alone. Nevertheless, no matter how awesome people tell you that you are, if you don’t see how awesome you are, you may never rise from being good to being that awesome.
Alright, Funke, are you saying I shouldn’t listen to wrong things people say about me? Hey, I didn’t say you can’t be wrong sometimes, ofcourse, you can, in fact, you can be VERY wrong and ofcourse you have to listen to people who want your betterment whenever they tell you your lapses, but one thing is sure, if after all they tell you, all you have in your bowels is a low self-esteem, all you will see is negative-quitting part of you who can’t do things right, instead of the positive-winning part of you who can always get better. Don’t fall into the trap of taking ‘self-esteem’ to be ‘pride’. You know your worth and you always wanna get better, that’s a way to build your self-esteem.
Can your self-esteem be doubtful or shaky? Oh! Very much YES, no matter how esteemed you are, there might be a time that certain situations or occurrence can make you doubt your worth, you can start feeling like you are worth nothing, that you cannot move farther than how far you’ve moved, but hey, those are just thoughts, vague ones at that, not the reality of who you are, no matter what it is that you are going through, no matter how difficult it is to move from that spot, even if it makes you feel like you are nobody. Dearest, I am personally and emotionally telling you that you are greater and esteemed above your situations, situations can come and go, no matter how bad it is, they all have their reasons for existence, you think that is bullshit? Yes, I also felt the same way, I thought to myself “How can this awful thing happen for a reason, how can you tell me that I had to cry and get almost crazy because it is for a reason? But as difficult as it seems, I had to get out of that threshold, out of that situation that is weighing me down, I had to go to that spot where I dropped my self-esteem, I picked it up, though it seemed like it wasn’t mine again because some people even made me feel like I shouldn’t be happy, but I remembered that I am great, that I am special, that I have a lot to offer, despite the situation I am in, I remembered that I still have a self-worth, it didn’t vanish away from me, I only dropped it, I picked it up, shut my fears up, shut everything that seems to pull me back and I began to soar higher. That’s all you need to do in the midst of that situation, drop your fears and pick up your worth, you are highly esteemed than you think.
Be your boss! Be esteemed!